Little minutes of LOVE

by ArtistrySoul   Jan 5, 2012


Before we timeline our world.......................................

I would do anything for your love,
would you do the same for me
every time you get closer
I feel like I need all the seconds
from the hands of a tick tock clock
I need you and your love to
pencil a unbroken path

Does it all make sense?
could it be a design like
five fingers in a glove, small
and big hands on a clock, singing
to every word of a love song

Compelling emotions make
me search for your love in the
blazing desert under each grain of sand
hands that are crying blood,
seconds turn into hours,
minutes turn into days
I'll promise to give you all you need

My love, history, future and memories
you hold in the palm of your hand,
I hope to wake up next to you
one day and tell you,
your blossoming love is all mine <3 =)

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by ArtistrySoul

    Thanks for you comments, ironically your the only one who does lol. like I said before it just mostly comes out from the top of my head nothing is pre written but I will alter it later to make it more appealing in certain areas.

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    I like the first sentence...

    "Before we timeline our world"

    As for me it means.. Before we start our life together.. or before we create our own history.
    Its a good start. It sounds like you are going to set some standards or you are about to warned the person you love before starting a relationship. So it grabs the readers attention.

    "I would do anything for your love,
    would you do the same for me
    every time you get closer
    the more you spiral me to never let go,
    sometimes I feel we are running
    ahead and creating a unbroken path"

    Now, this stanza sounds a bit weak.. perhaps consider some revision on it.
    Like make your point clearer. It might be tough but I bet you can do it.
    At the moment, the ideas sound jumble..

    Does it all make sense,
    could it be a design like
    five fingers in a glove, small
    and big hands on a clock,
    the sound of one heart beat

    Now, all of this are questions.. but it leaves the reader thinking what does make sense? What does the author want to convey with this stanza...

    Compelling emotions that have
    me searching your love in the
    blazing desert under each grain,
    hands that are crying blood,
    it will not slow me down even
    if it takes more than a life time

    ----Now I LOVE this... " Compelling emotions that have me searching your love in the
    blazing desert under each grain" I think it would be better to add " under each grain of sand."
    Then I'm thinking that the hands are crying blood because they are hurt from searching the love in the desert.. and now i'm think what will not slow you down? time? the desert? What do you mean by the IT will not slow me.."

    Getting hurt or lied
    makes me fear can
    I take a chance
    live, love and die
    you hold in the palm of you hand,
    I hope to wake up one day
    and say, your all mine

    --- This is sort of mixed up to me.. But i do like the last part I hope to wake up one day and say, you are all mine. The part before it, it doesn't go with the flow..

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