i was maybe of four years,
smiling and laughing all i knew.
the warmth of my mother's arms,
was where i felt safe to be.
but i found myself,
chasing the coattail
if a retreating figure
my small arm outstretched,
his name screaming past my lips.
my moments with him never staying,
always fleeting.
i was maybe of sixteen years,
falsifying smiles and hiding pain,
an art he grew to unknowingly teach me.
the warmth of my mother's arms,
was where i felt safe to be.
a simple phone call out of the blue,
changed everything i ever knew.
marriage had taken place,
without his four children's knowledge
three days passed when we recieved notice.
Now I'm about twenty years,
Unsure of how to make these
Minor relationships last,
their retreating figures grow smaller,
I'm chasing after them my fingertips
Brushing against their coattails,
Begging please, just stay, one more chance.
Is this how it's supposed to work?
I lie here battered and confused,
A tattered coattail i grip to tightly
Blood from when his fist connected to my body,
Drips slowly down my scarred skin
My innocence easy to manipulate,
my confusion easy to twist.
malicious words honeyed with
Baby's, my baby girl
Come sit here by me.
Growing up chasing coattails,
Left a girl with a fragile ego,
A girl who gives trust to easy,
leaving her blind to the manipulations,
making her a simple target to
Men whose intentions are
To take advantage of the weak.
