The amount of sadness in this simple poem just brought me to tears, it just feels so genuine and real.

This dead beat heart,
lying on the floor,
crushed into pieces,
can't take it anymore.
^^
The flow on the first line sounded so melodious, and comparing your heart to a person lying there, crushed, hurt, unable to move.

But don't try to fix it,
I have already tried,
don't worry about me,
I have no more pride.
^^
This stanza was it, surrendering to the fact that you are broken, no longer able to be fixed. But what touched me the most is where you let go of your pride @_@

Slowly drifting away tonight,
maybe this will be the one,
where I will not wake up,
my life will finally be done.
^^
Just gave up on those lines, thats how I felt today. Its like you read my feelings and my thoughts and translated them on this amazing piece.

I just am a big fan of your work, keep on writing.
As always, SMILE !!

Wow, I agree with Meme... this poem is filled with pain and hurt, and just makes me feel so sad while reading it.

The opening stanza felt like a murder scene... and the idea of this dead heart, crushed to pieces on the floor really affected me!

Aww and the stanza about not trying to fix it, how you've already lost your pride, was so sad as well... I can feel how giving up was the only option in this poem.

The ending was so sad!!! I wouldn't want this person's life to end :( it just made me so sad!!!

Great poem though, filled with deep and raw emotions

This is very sad. But amazingly written I loved it and greatly worded I loved every line an excellent job 5/5

Amazingly written with all the emotions you put into your lovely poetry, Cupcake.

5/5

- Shining Star