I Should've Stayed

I never wanted to fall in love
Because I've always known
That when things get rough
I run far away, all alone

It's sickening the pleasure I get
From feeling the pain I created
My consciousness doesn't let me regret
How I've hurt you unabated

It's selfish to say I told you so
I warned you not to fall in love with me
But together we continued to grow
And I led you on selfishly

I'll be honest I always wanted to love
To fall so hard it'll be difficult getting up
Truth is, it wasn't enough
I wanted to feel pain and despair above all

I must be some kind of sadistic masochist
Enjoying when your tears fall on the ground
And disliking smiles forming on cheeks
I finally realize how sorry I am now

Obviously it's too late for apologies
I only write this so you can know
That you've always deserved better than me
At least someone who doesn't savor your woe

The only parting words I have left to say
"I should've stayed with you anyway"