Powerful message in a few stanzas..

5/5

-Heather

Wow TJ

This poem is soooo raw and deep with emotions.

Rip apart my trusting heart,
throw it to the wind,
crush it into micro dust
start it all again.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
The first stanza alone has so much emotion in the words. To reduce your heart to dust in the wind. A great imagery here,.

Paint my world a crimson red
like drops of kindred gore,
block the sun with clouds of black,
my pleading just ignore.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So much darkness in this. Leaving your world pitch black with the blocking of the sun.
Makes me think your emotions have turned to darkness, not just your world

Blind my eyes with desire,
as I wither on the floor,
you've had your fun now I'm done,
head on out the door.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I read this as though she had blinded you with false desire. Made you feel and see something that wasn't really there.

I love the last two lines as being very powerful. You've had enough and don't want to deal with the relationship anymore

A well written poem. So much said in a short poem!

x

Wow, this poem is so dark and deep... you expressed raw, painful emotions.

"A world you painted crimson red
like drops of kindred gore.
Blocked the sun with clouds of black,
my pleading you ignored."

>> crimson red - great choice of words.. and this stanza was dark and I could envision the pain you created with your imagery.

This is a different poem than what I'm used to reading from you, and it just shows how you can write about any subject. Sad and painful, yet powerful. Great job TJ!

A moving, emotional, and very powerful poem...well done~

The only way to live is to trust, TJ. If then one abuses that, it is hard on the other..but always better than not daring to love and give the other the benefit of the doubt.

This is more of a sad poem, hun.

No more rain now for you;)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

First, I love the title.
Second, I love the rhymes.
Third, it went so smooth,, so so smooth with its well subtly metered pace and light language but of great dense and vividness.
I like, much. Great job TJ.

You've ripped apart my trusting heart
then thrown it to the wind,
crushed it into micro dust
and started once again.

--- This stanza it's filled with so much emotion. Its heartbreaking. Starting with the first sentence " you've ripped apart my trusting heart" This shows how much you trusted her and its painful when one is in this situation. When we trust someone and it suddenly the trust is no longer, it's like saying that they ripped out the heart in an instance but not being content with that, they had to crushed it into MICRO dust.. ahh. MICRO?? This word says so much too.. its really hard to put the pieces back again thus the trust will be hard to gain back. But still you love her so much that you gave her a second chance and you tried to put them all back together but once again she crushed it.

A world you painted crimson red
like drops of kindred gore.
Blocked the sun with clouds of black,
my pleading you ignored.

---- This stanza in my opinion, shows how your world turned when she crushed your heart.
How descriptive and great use of words, crimson red and kindred gore sound dark and it gives the poem a good tone. Then my pleading you ignored.. sounds more like someone disappointed and sad. How you wished for her to have heard you and not ignored your plead the way she did.

Eyes were blinded with desire,
as I withered on the floor.
You've had your fun, now I'm done,
head on out the door.

---- Then this one, shows how you realize the truth.. that you were blinded and you were able to realize that when you saw yourself "withered in the floor." Though, some plants when they are withered can still be revive with care and patience ( time), so one just needs to realize that, in order to make it bloom once again. That's why I liked the last sentence, head-on out the door..
because its time to regain the strength that she took away from you, instead of continue with her and make you die for sure.. and to start the process of reviving yourself...

well done.

This I feel says alot and greatly worded amazingly fantastically written this was harsh and sad maybe anger idk a lot and its very well done excellent job I loved it 5/5

Concerto of Finality
^ I really like the title, it fits to the poem, it's eye-catching and it sounds musical as it is, which your poem does too. It flows extremly well, which made reading a real pleasure.

You've ripped apart my trusting heart
then thrown it to the wind,
crushed it into micro dust
and started once again.

^ I like the fact that you direct this at the person, who has done it, gives this poem more strength and makes it more personal.
The speaker is obviously heartbroken because of what his lover did. The reader does not figure what exactly she did, but it must have been utterly painful because it's described as "ripped apart". I think that this is a much stronger image than "break" because breaking something could happen accidentally, while ripping something apart is more of a purpose act.
To then throw it to the wind underlines that she doesn't want to have anything to do with it no more, she wants for wind to carry it away and build a specific distance, maybe even seperate the single pieces to never be put together again. I like the fact that you refer to the pieces as "micro dust", dust is really small as it is, but micro underlines how broken the speaker actually is.
Dust is also something that people do not want, it shows that things have gotten old, maybe that was the case with the relationship the two shared.

A world you painted crimson red
like drops of kindred gore.
Blocked the sun with clouds of black,
my pleading you ignored.

^ You paint a really strong picture with these words, while I rather heard the sadness in the first stanza this seems somewhat frustrated. The speaker still depends on that person otherwise he would not give her the possibility to control his life like this. He is not over the break up yet and probably tries to get back together, while she just makes things worse.

Eyes were blinded with desire,
as I withered on the floor.
You've had your fun, now I'm done,
head on out the door.

^ I like the connection to the second stanza by using "wither", obviously a plant needs sun and water to grow, which the speaker doesn't recieve, in this context sun and water might be a chance or even love itself.
I also like the change in the last two verses, the speaker isn't willing to put up with her and just being a toy and won't allow her to strung you along.

Overall it's a really well written poem, with captivating emotions, I just hope that this is "only a poem".

This is one hell of a piece you have here bro. All the comments above are strong enough, so I wont elaborate. I love the rhyme scheme and the second stanza in particular is very creative, speaks volumes.

Very well written.

This one was 'awesome' right from the title but after that began the journey & it was full of emotions. Great choice of words.

all the best and take care