The beginning of the rest of my life *true story*

I used to think
Life was easy
And happy
Until that one dreadful morning came around.

I was sleeping peacefully,
That is,
Until the phone rang.
My mom answered it.
On the other end
Was a man.
He told my mom the horrible news,
The news that would change our lives forever.
I didn’t know what he had said
But I knew it was something bad
Just by the way my mom was moving around.
I got up,
Went to her and asked,
“what mom?
What’s wrong?”
She told me dad had been in an accident.
I knew it had to have been something bad
Because I saw the outline
Of the dried up tears on her cheek.
My heart sunk

She woke my brother up.
He acted calm and strong,
Something I was unable to do.
The taxi arrived,
The three of us got in
And he drove us to Toronto.
The ride was quiet
Everyone still trying to realize
If it were a dream or reality.
We got to the yard
Picked up the car
And headed to the hospital.

When we arrived
We were taken into a small
Quiet room.
The nurse came in
And took my mom to see him
I just sat there.

My mom came out,
Lost from shock.
I was scared,
Scared and heartbroken.
My mom was crying.
I never saw her cry before
So I knew it was something horrible.
She told us he was going to lose his left foot
And maybe his right leg.
I cried.
Why? I thought.
Why us?
Why him?
What did we do to deserve this?
I wanted to see him
Before he went in for surgery
So she took us to this room.
We waited ‘til they wheeled him out.
He came down the hall,
I looked at him and cried.
It was him
But he didn’t seem there.
It was scary.
There was blood everywhere.
I gave him a kiss
And they wheeled him away
Into a room
Which would decide
His destiny.

The wait was long,
Pacing back and forth
Was all we could do.
Thoughts shot through our heads.
A man came in,
He spoke with us,
Told us he would help us get through it all.
I didn’t believe him.
How could I?
The worst possible thing ever had just happened
And even I couldn’t help.
I couldn’t bare the hospital any longer
So I left,
For a walk,
I just wandered.
Thinking.
Crying.
Waiting.

I went back in
My mom was there
I just sat with her.
A nurse came in and took us to CrCU.
We talked to the surgeon.
He told us the news,
News we didn’t want to hear.
“He lost his left foot
and his entire right leg.”
I felt my stomach turn
And the butterflies began to swarm in
There was more.
He said they would need to take more off.
What?
I thought.
Why?
It cant be true.
Its just a dream.
No
No
No
I was scared.
Then my mom and I went in to see him.
He was different.
He was swollen.
His hands like a balloon.
Tubes everywhere
The hardest part,
Looking at where his legs once were.
Nothing.
I saw nothing.
I cried
More than I have ever cried in my life.
My dad,
The person I look up to,
My idol,
My hero,
Was lying there
And I couldn’t help.
All I could do was watch
Watch as the machines helped him live
Blood being pumped,
Pain killers dripping down the tube,
The heart monitor beeping,
Breathing machine filling his lungs,
And doctors talking.
I felt horrible.
A little machine could help him
And I could do nothing.
I couldn’t stand it any longer,
Not being able to help.
I had to leave.
I went to the waiting room.
People looked at me.
I didn’t care,
The only thing I cared about was him.
I finally stopped crying.
Then my neighbor came.
I couldn’t keep it in any longer.
I cried again.
I just sat there,
Helpless,
Scared,
Distraught.
Again the questions filled my head.
Why?
Why him?
Why not someone else?
Why not me?
Why is God punishing us?
What did we do to deserve this?
I felt like I was not really there,
Like it was all a dream.
A dream that I would wake up from
And have everything normal again
But it wasn’t going to happen.

I had lost my appetite.
Lost my awareness of my surroundings.
I didn’t care about anyone.
Anyone who wasn’t him
I got dizzy.
I hadn’t eaten or drank anything
All day.
She made me eat
I couldn’t though.
I wasn’t hungry

She took us home,
Away from the hospital
Trying to get my mind off of it all.
But I couldn’t.
I couldn’t dare forget about him,
About what happened.
The day played through my head,
Over and over again.
And each time it did,
I cried.

I couldn’t sleep.
I couldn’t relax.
Not while he was lying there.
Not while he wasn’t relaxing.
I went into the house.
It was hard,
Looking at the things that reminded me of what he once was.
I was scared.
She wanted me to sleep,
I wouldn’t,
I couldn’t.
So she gave me something.
Something that would make me relax.
Something that would bring me back to reality.
I took it.
I went to bed.
I tossed and turned,
Afraid if I went to sleep I would be giving in.
Forgetting him.
But finally,
I slept.