A Rainy Goodbye

by Brittany   Jan 14, 2012


Here i am in the rain,
letting tears wash down my face,
as i try to remember your warm embrace,
All these memories running through my head,
All these things that make me wish i was dead,
We shared a dream, we had a laugh, we lost it all as time passed.
There are days i wish we had last, but i need to forget it all for i can not live in the past.
The tears are welling in my eyes as my heart says its final good bye, i hear the rain as i walk in pain, dripping dripping, falling falling, all these memories that are lost in my head shall be with me till the day i am dead.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Hannah Lizette

    Nice piece, drenched with sadness.
    I do have a few suggestions, though. Whenever you write "i" ... it needs to be capitalized. Also, I think maybe it needs a better form...I know that's kind of difficult to do with the rhyme scheme that it has. Just a suggestion, though...I just don't like how some lines are so long that it overlaps into another line, you know what I mean? For example lines 7-8.. just kind of awkward for me. If you are going to do a rhyme scheme with the ending word rhyming... that word needs to be the last word of each line... it's just easier for the reader to follow. :)

    Overall, a good piece. Keep writing!

    • 11 years ago

      by Brittany

      LOL thank you very muh but mostly just do it for fun ya know :3 but yes my writing needs improvement and i did write that a while ago ^^

  • 12 years ago

    by Brittany

    Thank you :3

  • 12 years ago

    by Rachit Bhanage

    Good work ! :)

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