Good work ! :)

Thank you :3

Nice piece, drenched with sadness.
I do have a few suggestions, though. Whenever you write "i" ... it needs to be capitalized. Also, I think maybe it needs a better form...I know that's kind of difficult to do with the rhyme scheme that it has. Just a suggestion, though...I just don't like how some lines are so long that it overlaps into another line, you know what I mean? For example lines 7-8.. just kind of awkward for me. If you are going to do a rhyme scheme with the ending word rhyming... that word needs to be the last word of each line... it's just easier for the reader to follow. :)

Overall, a good piece. Keep writing!