I can see "Yaki has changed"! :)

With dim eyes too
caught up in emotions
that still radiate through
tears

^ That was just amazingly pieced together Yaki. Seriously a sweet thing to say that it made me crack a smile.

you don't know you're beautiful,
and that makes you beautiful
^^
I think that makes YOU beautiful. When you can see past someones insecurities to where it makes them beautiful in your eyes, that truly makes your an even more beautiful person.

I loved this poem, everything about it, the way it was worded, the way you had a soft, sensitive tone in it..Awesome! :)
Chelsey

Yaki,*

You know why I wanted to comment on this poem, I was going to comment on a more recent piece of yours but then I remembered this and how much I adored this when I read it. I keep reading it even now and it makes me feel like a different person. Stronger perhaps.

I loved the meaning of a 1000 fearless ants attacking sugar, they're like a mini army aren't they? And yet they're so small, so delicate that they're easily crushed. I also liked the imagery you portrayed here, I could imagine them scattered, fighting to get towards the sweetness. I guess this could have been a metaphor for how one fights for the sweetness of love.

I liked the idea of a smile reminding you of candlelight it's as though it's a flicker, there and gone, constantly changing but when the smile appears it's illuminating like candle light, brightening the area. If this is why you were saying it's extremely beautiful and sweet of you.

"you rise from
dirt,from pain,
bitterness
and misery.."

This is my favourite part, the way you depict this person with such strength, it makes me feel as though anyone can rise from anything. Over the last few months I realised I am stronger than I ever thought and I can do anything and still put others before me. The word bitterness you know I can relate to.

The ending was just breath taking, thanks for writing this, sweets. Amazing of you and it means the world.

-Mel