Comments : Jigsaw

  • 12 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    The idea behind this poem is really good. i would suggest you remove those capital letters at the end of each sentence because they are taking away the flow of the poem. use commas instead and full stops but where necessary.

    here is my suggestion

    I am one half,
    you are the other.
    Together,
    we make perfect lovers.
    I am the jig,
    you are the saw.
    Together,
    will make this love puzzle grow
    One day,
    the puzzle will be complete,
    then we will relax
    and put up our feet

    I have just tried putting in the commas and full stops where necessary. i felt the last part about feet doesnt do it for me, it was like you were looking for a rhyming word. I give it a 5 because i know it could have been better.(hope am not harch)

  • 12 years ago

    by sun spots

    Thats good. Well written x

  • 12 years ago

    by sun spots

    Thanks.love you.xx