There are a few, but they aren't like you..
I can do without me, but not without you!
love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost

really loved this stanza describing how you can die for her. This is brilliant and you have used your words uniquely.

hand in hand, let us sail to a place,
where sun drowns in an orange haze,
Let us lie beneath a moonlit night,
Our dreams dancing side by side

i loved the imagery in this stanza. The dreams part was brilliant.

I trace my lifeline etched on your palm,
while you look at me, innocently calm,
smiling broadly, yeah it's true
There are a few, but they aren't like you

I felt this stanza was describing her beauty..i also loved how you accept that there are a few others but none compared to her, really sweet.

stealing glances by the shore,
diving into the ocean's floor,
through your eyes I would love to view,
my life can go on but not without you!

again, the imagery here is wonderful. and you end it beautifully assuring her you are nothing without her. This poem is amazing and the fact that you wrote it in 15min, wow. 5

A simple love poem with a nice topic. I have seen many poems like this so it seems a little cliche but since it was a challenge and you were forced to use simple language I guess it passes. ;] The flow was descent but some of the parts where it rhymed, which I think it did, seemed a little forced. The imagery in the poem however is very vivid and live. I could see this poem playing through my mind as I read. It was also very simplistic in meaning and words and your emotions were strong in every line.

I couldn't really find one stanza I liked best since they all seemed to hold their own in the poem. The poem had a strong central theme but the topic has been a little over used. Still you wrote a really good poem and you also did it in 15 minutes, which is impressive. Now I would recommend going back to this poem and polishing it up as it has potential.

Overall, I really liked the poem and your getting better and better at challenges and also letting your heart speak for you. The message is also important to as there are many people who feel this way about someone who they love and feel are the best person for them in the world, which is sometimes true. Great job and keep writing!

Shocking piece, something i never read from you. While i was reading it, i was smiling and saying to myself...Raj is in love....& this time its not 'nature'... :)

Well, i loved it & yes i love the simplicity as that's how emotions are.

all the best and take care

There are a few, but they aren't like you..
I can do without me, but not without you!
love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost

this one is really very sweet.

WOW Raj I must say this is truly simply beautiful!!! I loved it from start to finish! There is a catchy tune to it which flows elegantly as well as smoothly.

love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost

^^Such a true statement my dear. Love cannot be bought and we have to hold on to it!

I trace my lifeline etched on your palm,
while you look at me, innocently calm,
smiling broadly, yeah it's true
There are a few, but they aren't like you

^^OOoo..I really like this part and can see it so clearly in my mind. Such a romantic scene!

The repetition of this line "not without you" makes it effective and also shows that is how love is. One can't go on without the other. Really enjoyed this read!!

Your talent flows so gently and easily. Give you 5 mins and you could come up with beauty in some form.
I really like the simplicity, the tenderness in this piece. I can't pick a favorite line, each one is filled with love and and dedication to someone.
Excellent Raj Love your poems

Awesome lines~

hand in hand, let us sail to a place,
where sun drowns in an orange haze,
Let us lie beneath a moonlit night,
Our dreams dancing side by side

Good job! 5/6!

Cheers,
Ray

Firstly, BRAVO!

Writing this poem in 15 minutes is great. It's also nice that you did it as a challenge from your friends. Very talented

There are a few, but they aren't like you..
I can do without me, but not without you!
love is priceless, cannot be bought for a cost..
hold on to it, before its all lost
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I like this first stanza - it just opens up showing really how much you cherish this person. The use of the exclamation point - just shows us how much you actually mean what you're saying.

hand in hand, let us sail to a place,
where sun drowns in an orange haze,
Let us lie beneath a moonlit night,
Our dreams dancing side by side
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is a beautiful image - I love the orange haze look of the sun. I have seen this so many times and it just sets a romantic tone

I trace my lifeline etched on your palm,
while you look at me, innocently calm,
smiling broadly, yeah it's true
There are a few, but they aren't like you
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Tracing your lifeline on her palm? How brilliant is this. As if to say you are made for each other. It is written I think this is the best part of the poem

What an awesome write!

loved it

x