Proserpina

by Yakari Gabriel   Jan 18, 2012


She appeared like
an epiphany..

as soon as
my eyes found her,
gravity betrayed me
placing my heart at her feet.

it was said that she,
like black butterflies,
brought death..

yet,
all I saw
was a talisman
armed with beauty.

I pondered,

my mind became
a gallery filled with
foolishness,clouds
and malice..

all with
the sole purpose
of loving her..

abruptly,
I took her and
all she represented-

for I cared not
about the six
withered months,

but about my world,
with her in it.

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Got to love that edit tool ;)

    Thanks Jane!

  • 12 years ago

    by silvershoes

    ^SECOND PLACE!

    She beat me :P

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Congrats on your second place!

    Just copying my comment from the contest.
    --

    I've always been fond of Proserpina, perhaps more a familiar with her Greek equivalent Persephone but it was nice to see Roman mythology instead of Greek. What I liked with this poem was the incorporation of the myth and a personal connection the poet had to the Goddess. When given a prompt such as this it can be hard for the writer to make the topic their own, fact after fact are often written and it loses characteristic. I enjoyed how Proserpina became a metaphor for a person in the writers life, from what I gathered a lover. It was a powerful metaphor because it allowed the audience to form an image of this person the poet speaks of. The reference to "she like black butterflies brought death" was clever as Proserpina was known for being a deity of death however on a deeper level the writer was forming the idea that the female was known for being a bit of a heart breaker, bringing death upon those whose hearts she had at "her feet." The first word at the beginning of the poem should have been capitalized and after abruptly in the 6th stanza I didn't feel the comma was necessary. This piece was strong in emotion and strong in metaphors.

    -Mel

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