What have I become?

I wish i could go back. Back to the days where all I would worry about is what my mom would make for dinner, whether or not I will be able to play outside afterward, and if my best friend can join me in my adventures. A simpler time...

Life is definitely a risk worth taking, but do not think for a second that you will come out on top. You will fall and you will get hurt but, is it not the failure that drives you to continue forward?

Humans have a natural desire to over come one thing that has defeated us in the past. They need to win, to have that feeling of success. A feeling so strong, that no matter what they go through they just will not give up until they experience it. People are funny that way.

Because of this theory I have come to accept, I have decided that I am not human. I do not fall under the "people" category. I feel no need to propel forward. When life has over come me, I look for the closet place where I can huddle up and suffer through it. I am afraid of the pain that trying to succeed will bring. What if I do not succeed, what if I fail at life again and again and again?

This constant thought of failure after failure is what impedes my path to success. I worry that when I try to take a step forward, I will end up going back two. I do not have faith in my self. No self-confidence to be seen in me. I am not sure what you would call me.

So here I am now. Sitting in bed. My whole life ahead of me. A long path of failure as far as the eye can see. Do I think to myself "I can over come these obstacles ahead of me!"? No. I cry to my-self and wonder what happened to me. Why must I suffer a life not too many people will understand? How come I have to sit back and watch my friends and peers grow and strive for success when it is all I can do to just keep my self going for another day. Another chance at failure...