Shut Out

I see a mountainous wall
Too high to dare climbing
Without foothold to aid stepping up
Or handhold to hold unto against falling.
Tried everything I can think of
But unscalalable and standing it remains.

I smell a lot of things
But all not pleasant or welcoming.
Chiefly, I smell the resistance,
Skunk-like, it repels me.
Even if I cover my nose,
Myself I only deceive: it remains.

I taste the untastable
Like gall it explodes in my mouth
Leaving me confused as to the source.
A fresh spring sweet I have always drank from
But now, from the higher mountains of a heart
I am deluged by a waterfall of bitterness.

I see in this blindness
But what I see makes me wish for blindness
Or to be imperfectly healed as to see men like trees.
Surely, it will be better than what is confronting me
The immovable sight sneering at me
Seeming like it will always remain.

I hear your heartbeat
But surely it can't be this!
In perfect cadence it moved with your love
But now, beating erratically it seeks to hide
Killing all form of life's connection
Rendering you unlinkable.

I can't but feel the waves
Rolling in from the ocean that now separates us
Hitting me with the force of all the good turned bad
Giving me no time to assemble my defense
Reaching in roughly to tear my heart out.
Without morphine, I must feel the pain.

Things weren't always like this
Of all you proved to be the dearest
Leaving everyone you met with a smile.
From deep within you always brought out the sun
To shine in everything you do
As reflected in the brilliance of your eyes.

But now you stand on your mountain of indifference
Throwing rocks of silence to dam the springs of sweet dialogue
Till they are piled high enough to block the sun of your love
And not even the voice of your affection's whispering can be heard
All you radiate now is that odour of a wounded heart
Leaving me with feelings of good turned bad.