Wow, Yaki this is so beautiful. I think it really hit home with me after the conversation that we had. You took it and ran with it so perfectly, executed it so well!!

That ending just gets to me. And the bit about reading hers, his and theirs. Ahhhh I love this!

When I saw this poem on the nominations list,

Part of me said, 'Boy go away... you shouldn't read this. you shouldn't comment on this. yaki is a bad girl, blah blah blah...'

but the real mature constructive objective poet within says, 'I couldn't but complete it till the very end because it pulled my strings from the very beginning till the very end'.

I love how you brought dishes, the stove, the tea kettle to life... and with this incorporation your tone was tremendously emphasized.

And again, the idea of the 'first poem you've ever written'.... I ask a lot myself, too... where is it? what was it? it's not the first poem I posted on this website... I don't really know where it is!'

And when I reached
But it was stolen..... the poem got amazingier.

Your thoughts were so provoking that I'm now questioning myself, too...

'sometimes, sometimes my phrases don't fascinate me'

^ that would be my best verse!

the usage of 'crooked' feels eerie to describe the leaves. maybe I would have rather seen 'pale' to get the image you wanted to deliver.

And again, I would have been rather satisfied with the

'intimidated by the wind' .. as an end.

But At any level, I so much like this write for its pureness and how it wholeheartedly affected me. exalt!

Yaki,

Darnit girl, you are worth your salt in the literary world. I usually hate poems littered with I's. This poem was so hardhitting and utterly real, it spoke uniqueness.

I think there is a piece of every one of our "first poems" in every poem thereafter. We manage to grow, read and develop along the way and to we revisit that first poem daily. It is our nature to write, regardless of who calls us poets or not.

Beautiful write m'dear.

Yaki...I tried to leave a comment like this on a member's poem yesterday...not in a poetic fashion as this is...just asking the same questions in a simple way...

Do we get on the treadmill of poetry everday because we have the need to produce? and..why do some have that need?

Anyway..you managed to say it so much better than me and...I know you are questioning yourself here...that did not go unnoticed...

Wow....this poem was amazing....seriously....you described something I think we all wonder and think about..talking about dishes and tea, I think made this more personal and described ur want to not think about the person and ur trying to do things to take up time ...

Drawers of my mind, closet of my soul....omg!. That was incredibly unique and applaud u for the brilliance and creativity behind ur work...

This was absolutely beauiful. Who cares if u write poems a day they help u!..and they make ur fans love u!...yes u have fans. :)

I loveedddddd this

Wow....this poem was amazing....seriously....you described something I think we all wonder and think about..talking about dishes and tea, I think made this more personal and described ur want to not think about the person and ur trying to do things to take up time ...

Drawers of my mind, closet of my soul....omg!. That was incredibly unique and applaud u for the brilliance and creativity behind ur work...

This was absolutely beauiful. Who cares if u write poems a day they help u!..and they make ur fans love u!...yes u have fans. :)

I loveedddddd this

This is a very nice write, but I believe it could be made stronger if you "pruned" it a bit.

Let's take the beginning, for example:

"I had no intention
nor desire to write today."

Much stronger if changed to:

"I had no intention
of writing today."

If you wanted, you could go over this poem, line-by-line and and pull out unnecessary words, and the poem would have more resonance.

A strong, captivating, well worded poem that hits the mark from beginning to end. The plot is laid before us but in such a way that makes this poem wholly believable and emotive, capped off with a strong ending. You can feel the poet standing within this poem. Well done