Un-Wanted

I can see him at the far-away table
With those of his kind and nature.
Resplendent in his costly attire
Enough to pay my tuition for a year,
Unmindful of my watchful eyes.

I sit at my plastic table
A table burdened with no feasts but empty hands,
Hands belonging to my friends that I love
With the kind of love that he can never feel
Otherwise he would see me.

I keep my sights on him
With eyes threatening to burst
While I am held captive by thoughts
Of our unrelating relationship
And all he has prevented from happening between us.

I can bear it no longer!
Out into the cool breeze I step
Although unfeeling it whips across my face.
I'm followed by three of my musketeer friends:
All for one, one for all.

They sit concerned around me,
Saying nothing, silently comforting
Knowing that the pain is beyond words:
The pain of blood rejection.
One of them weeps silently with me at it.

Elapsed time sees me back inside.
Not to sit. I stride to his side.
My heart deafening me to the warning in my head
I know I will be hurt like before
But foolishly I hope things will be different.

My friends watch with bated breath
As I make my way around the tables
And finally at his side I greet him.
They see as he waves me off, and like me
Are angry, hurt, and to me, sympathetic.

Leaving behind their untouched food
They go with me out of the torture room;
An entourage of heavy and broken hearts.
Again they sit with me, quietly reassuring
As my eyes' dam breaks.

It has been another night of facing reality;
The bitter reality of being fatherless
Even while seed's tree is still standing.
All my life I have always known the truth:
That I am unwanted.