I tried to comment this earlier today and it kept asking me to sign in and when I did it would ask it again. Anyway I suppose it is working now so on to the comment....

I saw a crescent moon the other night that was upside down and thought it looked very much like the Cheshire cats smile in Alice in Wonderland. Your imagery used in the first stanza is quite breathtaking, as I am sure that is how you meant it and you are just relaying the feelings you have.

With first read I honestly just thought I didn't understand it, then I had to take myself back and remember that feeling of love in the beginning. I loved the line about sewing scars with butterflies. Doesn't love just make you so ooshy gooshy inside lol.

I loved this piece and thought you done beautiful on it. Very glad to see you writing again. My only complaint on this poem is it is too short. I love long reads that aren't too excessively long, but enough to get into. Which you have penned this beautifully and said enough in the lines you have. Wonderful Job m'dear, glad to see you writing again.

I think this is a lovely poem. It made me smile. :) I like the similies you used in this and the way you described;

untangling knots within my heart
and sewing scars with butterflies -

It's so sweet and doesn't it feel so nice to have someone around who makes all of the hurt and worry go away? :)

5/5

Temps,*

Nice to see a new piece by you, it's been a while huh. I liked the piece, the concept is often written about but I believe each individual interprets it differently, we all have a different sensation when we fall for someone but isn't it funny how we can all relate to the feelings someone else portrays even if they weren't exactly what we were thinking.

I liked the imagery. Some of it was familiar; crescent moons, butterflies, the idea of watercolour (not sure if you've used it before but it's more known in poetry these days) that's when you know you're struggling to write. For you, you've used the idea of tangling, butterflies etc before and I do it too, I often repeat imagery and ideas when I'm at a block, but you had some new ideas here too; the feathered sun and sewing scars and that's how you know you're pushing forward from the block.

Nice little use of alliterations too, It's good to see more of this technique lately. I didn't feel the second hyphen was needed, I personally would of used a semi-colon but apart from that this poem was a nice little read, short and sweet.

-Mel

Ohh. I am commenting on this once my dad allows me to open PnQ through my laptop. I love you. Mwa.

Good imagery used. Lovely write

I am glad to see you have written a new piece and I am sure that this poem is special to you and I can really feel your emotions coming out though your metaphors in your lines. The first stanza was a wonderful opening, though I have to admit I had to read through it a couple of times before I got exactly what you are trying to say. I love how you are able to capture the feeling of being in love and yet write it in such a way as to make it non cliche.

I can't really pick a favorite stanza as I found that the two stanzas go hand in hand with one another and that they are well written. I think I've seen some of the imagery you used in this poem before, but I also see you put in some original stuff that I haven't seen before, which brings me to why I love your poetry. It's always, always very colorful and vivid, which greatly helps me.

All in all, I really like the poem and I am glad to see that you are writing again. I hope to see you writing some more soon. Anyway, the poem had a good taste of liveliness and and emotions to it, which brought it to life. Great job and keep writing!

.

Your words are refreshingly beautiful. I love your choice of adjectives in this piece; there's always such a great depth of character, of soul, in how you approach putting Love into language.

"for you are a feathered sun, "

I thought that line was particularly strong.
So many different ways one can interpret that phrase. I myself was brought back to a few fond memories.

Very well done (:

Beautiful well written poem.I loved every lines!

Beautiful poem, creates some great imagery.

Very sweet poem. Really enjoyed it. Starting with:

Your eyes crinkle
and lips part like a crescent moon,
as light whispers soaked in watercolor
trail down my spine -

I loved your use of metaphors here. Was done very nicely. And then light and color. The way you used the two together as they go together anyways was done great. They went hand in hand with each other. :)

for you are a feathered sun,
untangling knots within my heart
and sewing scars with butterflies -
setting it alight.

This part I thought was really cool. loved the part "untangling knots within my heart"
And then again hand in hand with the butterflies here. All in all a great write. :) P.S. wanted to give a better comment for ya. lol :)

Oh god I didn't commment on this/!!!!

ok I want another poem right NOW

mwa love