Later, I realized that what destroyed me was not "injustice" it as not my "misjudged character" It was not religion, nor was it being made a spectacle of. All those things were mere jokes that my peers played on me. People have always enjoyed playing tricks like that, and they will keep on playing them as long as there is trust. I learned this after I trusted you "A"... What destroyed me was that i insisted on going to see "A"... My desire to see that tender, lovely face... I imagine what her expression would be if she saw me... astonishment, hurt, regret, delight? Would it resemble my very own expression, when I saw her? Her face was not tender, it was gray and closed... My heart ached as my dreams polluted. I never again believed in life, or in memory, or in my dreams, and I no longer believed in myself... A person can be shot dead without ever hearing the bullet, in a similar way, I cant recall how I lost myself. And yes, there was the possibility of her pregnant belly, which would haunt me forever, a swelling that told its own story of what happened to her after i left.
