The Pains Of Pretending

My mind becomes heavily dizzy

my thoughts filled with his memory

i just can't let go of the feeling

even though it crushes my whole being

it could vanish but just for a while

my thoughts could walk half a mile

but when i turned, still it's him

who owns my heart and my everything

i tried so hard to keep it inside

but the feeling i can no longer hide

it unintentionally flows from my heart

and i can never put back the missing part

for five years there had been war

here deep inside in my mind and heart

argument never left my being

for those years, I've always been wandering

i think my heart had reached it's limit

something's inside me that i need to admit

and now, i need t put this to an end

for my heart is already tired to PRETEND

'cause for years, I've been keeping the pain

I've got no choice but to live in vain

why dear dream boy? why do i love thee?

the reality that i have to accept painfully...