Someone In Rome

Anothr brilliant piece ..fp

I thought it should be a modifier of "existed" so that "something" is not left hanging.

eg: something that existed
something once existent
something ever existing
something truly existing
or perhaps something completely different. Whether it is about Rome or Syria should be entirely up to you.

I'm not used to such pieces from you, so I might take time to understand your evolution as a poetess, but I really love how you started that, "it's bedtime, there, in Rome". Now, I'm having a flashback to what you told me once about Anas.... so I'm guessing that this write is so true and real.

The way you described the night in Syria gave me shivers, with all those colors and your broken tune which is revealed in here:

The night is ruby
here and Autumn, these days, darling
is heavy, orange and olive

^ I felt that the pace here is broken, not in the literal sense, but in the sense of a bleeding tone, as if you're taking a long breath before moving on.

It's bedtime, there, in Rome
you might have outspelt

^ I think you mean 'out-slept'

a new bedfellow

^ wow, instead of saying 'a new woman' you used the word 'bedfellow'. really enticing.

in a new language
that has me not between its
pleats,

^ Noura, you are amazing.

days are crashing like
biscuits on a dish of
iron memories.

^ what's with your metaphors? If I read it somewhere else, I wouldn't have guessed it's yours, for I told you first I'm not used to this style. You've grown far beyond perfection, it seems in those two weeks you were gone.

I really love what you've done here, from the beginning till the end.

I miss you loads....

I thank you for your comment, I am actually more than thankful. I just want to know if the word you talked about is about Rome or not? Well, I thought about putting something in between... I am not sure :/

I am more than ever impressed with the maturity your poems have developed. This work purposefully, deliberately, sets much message between the lines, forcing the reader to draw conclusions. This interaction is what makes a poem universal.

I, for instance, may imagine that the promise overslept was to call you regularly. That you have taken from this breach a whole understanding of his situation based on matters between you we can only guess at.

Whether he is unfaithful to you or whether it is simply a friendship that has waned is up to the reader to determine. One can be seduced in Rome, by the Eternal City herself, so the lover need not even walk on two legs.

Your imagery as to Autumn is magical, and lines such as "stars still sacrifice for the morrow" carry multiple interpretations, each of which are significant. One such interpretation hearkens back to ancient Rome when the people did indeed make sacrifices to the stars (gods) for the future.

I have to suggest, though, that it seems a word needs to be inserted where I placed an asterisk in this stanza. I will not suggest what word, for if you do place one, it will both balance the syntax & give rise to an entire new intuitive grasp of the verse.

"I want to lean
over something * existed
never dusting me off"