Melting Innocence

It's good to read poems that are based on issues. You've used strong vocabulary here and the imagery or the depiction is really good. A very well written poem.

This is truly sad in this day and age, but unfortunately this happens all around the world today and I'm sure it happens in other countries as well. Like Sylvia said, it is sad to see these children being cut off from a real childhood that they should be able to have and that they are forced to work in these factories for probably nothing. It makes me sick to think of the people who could do this and not have any remorse or guilt for their actions. Also the conditions in which they work make it even worse.

Now, before I babble forever, the poem itself was wonderful but truly sad and it had a good strong message that is presented nicely. Your flow from line to line is good and the structure was good as well. Your words are strong and also have good imagery that can be seen in each stanza. The sadness that one gets from this poem as well is strong and sad.

"The barium stuffed
star shaped rockets
somehow fail to
light up their skies"
^^^
This was a really sad stanza and also a really impressive work of imagery. I can easily see the children looking into the night sky and seeing these rockets going off and only for them it's a painful reminder of tomorrow's work and oppression. Truly sad.

All in all, I really liked this poem because it's a eye opener for people around to world to see that they aren't the only person suffering and maybe to realize that there is someone out there who is hurting worse than you. The poem was very emotional and can stir a tear from a few probably. Simply impressive and depressive. Great job and keep writing!

You have described very vividly how children are exploited in Asian factories to make items that they, themselves, will never be able to own or enjoy.

I like the colorful imagery, which you have juxtaposed with descriptions of the horrific working conditions.

Nicely penned, indeed!

This is not an eye opening fact for us Asians as we all know but still live on. Glad to see you atleast bringing it up & thats also with so much elegance. Beautifully written.

all the best and take care

Dungeons breathe fire,

^^This opening line sets the scene of an unpleasant and dangerous atmosphere thereby making the reader to read on.

melting childhood

^^Childhood is supposed to be fun and love whereas your words here paints a saddening image of a childhood that is slowly been wasted..a touching line!

Liquid eyes squint through
veil of toxic fumes,

^^I can just see those little innocent eyes forced to live through this harsh environment..a moving scene..

And the red bangles
delightfully clank on
delicate fair arms,
oblivious to the
blood it sucked.

^^So many children go through hell to make beautiful bangles so other children outside their environment may enjoy it.
It is painful to know that this type of treatment to children is till going on and nothing is done about it..a moving write.