Wow... I'm speechless. This poem is amazing, so well-written, and must I add a very cohesive collaboration... really nicely done the two of you!

I like the idea of the bad times being tattooed to someone, to show how it's really impacted them, and how it's something they will always carry with them.

Really powerful and sad... like this stanza:

"Was I that much
of a burden, you
had to rip the skin
off my flesh -

leaving me raw."

Very emotional and a great poem. Great job to the both of you!! You should be proud of such an amazing collaboration <3

I love the contrasting opening there, really powerful, I knew this'd be fantastic anyway :)

Your rough times
are still tattooed against
my collarbone, and the mourning
belt, I feel it plastered around
my vertiginous hips.
^^^^^^
Oh, "Mourning belt", such great imagery, just like WOW, Cannot say anything else.

Was I that much
of a burden, you
had to rip the skin
off my flesh -

leaving me raw.
^^^^^^^^
OMG OMG OMG Powerful expressions, powerful powerful words, such emotion emited here people!

You constantly brought
me to my knees and it
wasn't because I was begging,

though it wouldn't have made a
difference if I were.
^^^^^^^^^^^^
so true, Oh my this is getting like better and better as I read it, you guys rock!

I was only glad to be
facing the wall so you could
not see the tears that you
had caused me.
^^^^^^^^^
Oh yes, That's it, I am utterly impressed, like totally guys, you are just the perfect collab partners ever!!!

There was no room for weakness,
for I chose to forget
like you always did...

I chose to breathe
under water, and since then
I've been drowning in the deep.
^^^^^^^^
:O That last line is Abed's!!!! Reference to Adele :) Rolling in the deep, drowning in the deep

You guys just like are so damn amazing and I love you both.

Just perfection, perfection is what this is, OH MY GOD I am speechless :)

xxxxxx

Wow what a poem:) great job both of u:)

Haha, I thought I'd be the first to comment :P

It's great how both of us dealt with the same problem. Liz, I'm proud to collab with you :)

I think that this is a well written collab. I was not able to make out who of you wrote which part and I actually think that this poem has a specifc tone that continues throughout the whole poem. Great :)

Would leave a longer comment, but on my mobile

Just wow...stellar my friends.Love you two.

Wow...
You can picture the whole image playing out in your head as you read it. The title made me curious.

It instantly draws you in to continuing on reading. You guys made an amazing poem<3.

The way you guys ended it was brilliant. I'm kinda lost for words for what to say.

But this is great :)
5/5

Sometimes a collab is just a poem, it may flow nicely and be a great read. Other times the two click and become one poet I think that happened in this case. A masterpiece in my opinion.

How convenient that
you would choose to forget
what I want you to remember -

and...

what I want you to forget,
you would choose to remember

-----The tone on this lines sounds sarcastic yet somehow ironic to me and it made me think about the things that I want to forget but that I can't forget and the things that I wish to remember but I forget them.
But most of the times, the more I think about them and I try no to forget them makes me forget them haha... kind of weird. An example is birthday's, I remember them like one month before and I keep reminding myself and the exact day I forget. Well, I deviated from the topic again, but I shall get back to it. I really like the way you guys started this piece.

"Was I that much
of a burden, you
had to rip the skin
off my flesh -"

"There was no room for weakness,
for I chose to forget
like you always did..."

----- I found this lines to be the most powerful of this piece along with the last stanza.

I chose to breathe
under water, and since then
I've been drowning in the deep.

---Now the ending, the ending just impressed me.
I chose to breathe under water.. its kind of saying that you decided to continue breathing where you are not supposed to. You had the choice to go to the surface but still you preferred to be under water. Either because its refreshing or because it might be good for relaxation or because one can get lost in their own thoughts. unfortunately, if one stays too long under the water, one can immediately know how things will turned out. Someone will drown at anytime. What I understood from this piece , don't stay too long under water if you see that you have no more oxygen left, swim to the surface and breathe fresh air.

Well done you two. This is awesome.

Great collab !

This collab is really good. Both your writting styles flowed together with ease and it was hard to tell this poem was written by two people as everything just clicked and went into place.

This poem makes for a great read and I loved it from start to end.

5/5