Comments : It's Not Over (Tri-fall)

  • 12 years ago

    by Sylvia

    Meena it takes an eternity for pain to recede, sometimes it never succeeds. It is a battle to keep that pain from taking over our lives.

    In this line, should the word These be This
    ^^^
    which rules these black terrain,
    which rules this black terrain.

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    Meena,

    There is no need to tell you how much I appreciate your pieces. Your poem is beautifiul. Thanks for taking your time and leave me a comment.That was very kind of you.

  • 12 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Though sad but this is one the best piece i have come across in a long long time. Heart wrenching.

    all the best and take care

  • 12 years ago

    by Exostosis

    Pulling it off :P

    Burying bits of me
    with no hope
    this battle my mind can't let go,
    to a bleak world I flee
    just to cope
    from the past's unforgiving foe.

    ^ I love how the author has mentioned "burying bits of me". Which indicates that the pain isnt a one time thing, the author is haunted by the same thoughts every day and is breaking day after day.

    It isnt something time can erase.

    Hushed rain, it's not over
    never will
    for the wound sits deep in the heart,
    exhausation takes over
    and sleep fills
    yet with each dawn dejection starts.

    ^ The hushed rain, each drop a painful memory, a mistake irreversible. Each drop a sleepless night. It may not ever stop to pour upon the fictive umbrella, i.e figuratively never stop to pour upon the head of the author.

    I love how you've mentioned "dejection". Adds technicality to the poem, which I love.

    Very well written.

  • 12 years ago

    by Ronel McCarthy

    Your words create a sad mood 'bleak' 'dejection' etc -your rhyming words fits in perfectly with the form and theme of this poem about sadness/emotional pain................and coping mechanisms. Lovely write Meena :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    This is one form that I have never used.

    You have created a beautiful write even though this is so heart wrenching to read.