Comments : Ex's and Oh's

  • 12 years ago

    by Hellon

    I really liked your title...it brought me in to read this verse. I'm not sure if it's really lyrics it just sounded very melodic to me... also with the repetition of..

    So she signs her letters with Ex's and Oh's -
    Trying so hard, yet everyone knows.
    They know she's hurting but they just don't care,
    She is forced to live her life on a prayer

    made me think this way.

    But life throws curves balls and sometimes, you're out,
    ^^^

    I think this should be curved balls?

    I found the flow pretty much perfect until I got to this verse...

    Your baby left on that airplane, so many months ago,
    It seems like time is ticking by so slow.
    The letters are few and so far in between -
    You're just wondering what her virgin eyes have seen.

    ^^^^

    I just seemed to stumble a bit with it....maybe check the meter against the other stanzas?

    Overall...thoroughly enjoyed this one. First of your poems I've read but...looking forward to reading more.