The cascading yellow rays
tell stories of survival and hope
as the spring lies and bays
for the coming day of rebirth.
^^^
I love this stanza the most. I liked the personification in hwre( how the sun rays tells the story of survival and hope).

This is a great poem:)

Dude, an excellent piece =)

Our shallow hearts have died
in the embrace of winters love

^ This is actually, very beautiful. But depending upon who the reader is, this line could be interpreted in more than one way. One, the shallow hearts dieing in the cold arms of winters love. I kind of relate to it, as shallow hearts dieing while longing for affection from winters arrival and the bliss it brings.

The cascading yellow rays
tell stories of survival and hope
as the spring lies and bays
for the coming day of rebirth.

^ I like the feel of the first line, "cascading yellow rays". It dampens the stanza with a vivid yet deep and bright imagery. The rays speak stories, or the what they have witnessed along the timescale, joy, sorrow, battles, a fight for survival, etc. And the rest of the stanza speaks about spring, which could mean a tide, hydrosphere, the season. Which could indicate a tide of change, a stream of water for replenishment. Or the season of spring itself which is associated with rebirth, a new beginning, rejuvenation of hope.

So my Sunshine fall down
and envelop this bleak soul
for I know within silent sounds
we all can be made whole.

^ I love the end, adds alot of depth when the beginning speaks about the pain and the struggle, with hints of hope and the 3/4th part of the poem speaks about rebirth and the last stanza speaks of being whole again. Almost an approach for a happy ending.

Very well written.

This seems to be filled with hope. No matter how bad things may seem, the sunshine and light will fill you and bring that hope to you.

HAHA Jadd so you did it! yap, yellowissh, glowish, and my poem indeed meets all the criteriasss !

this is very hopefull, very well penned, the imagination is incredible, and word choice is perfect ...hope to see it on the front page like really, and no not being selfish, it's just ddfferent and hopeful..it's like donu..ME haha

thank you Austin :]

Another beautiful piece. So nice to see you on a roll here :)

Loved this perfect ending:

So my Sunshine fall down
and envelop this bleak soul
for I know within silent sounds
we all can be made whole

all the best and take care

I can't express the emotions that brought to me as I read this poem.... Mercy, It took my breath away... the energy, power, and beauty that the sun can bring Is a beautiful part of nature and you captured all of It's elegance within this piece.. the rhyme flow Is beautiful... well done~

I love how you divided this piece with two opposite emotions (sad-hopeful) and two different seasons (winter-summer). The subtle rhymes worked for me and the ending was kind of in between.. it can be interpreted as a sad/happy ending.
Excellent piece 5/5 :)

-X

Amazing poem :) 5/5