Comments : The beggar

  • 12 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    There is a lot of homeless people out in this world. My heart goes out to them. Some out there by choice, others due to circumstances

  • 12 years ago

    by marlon lumangyao

    Indeed........sadly i can do nothing..

  • 12 years ago

    by Xanthe

    This is really sad..

    I love the simple yet powerful imagery.. a mendicant wandering from one garbage can to another, looking for food..

    "what a pitiful man!
    if i'm only rich."
    I love this part. A lot of us want to do something but we can't. Just a suggestion though, change the last line to 'if only i was rich' i think it'll be more powerful..

    "that beggar now was gone,
    don't know what they've done,"
    makes me think people are picking on him :(

    "he live in the street for so long,
    hoping he's on his way home."
    I think you should change live to lived or lives. and the last line should be 'i hope he's on his way home' because you're the one hoping right? Correct me if i'm wrong..
    The ending seems like you're saying he died. if he did, then he's definitely in a better place.

    Great piece 5/5 keep writing :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Great=)