Wow, the emotion is so clear. There is some extremely vivid imagery and wow I love this piece. I love this so so much. Excellent job.

Thanx adreamer..

The rhymes flowed really well at the start, but became kind of shaky in the middle to the end.But I love the emotion of this piece, really sad..

On the first few lines you seemed to be speaking to someone--'you'
At the middle and end you seem to be speaking to yourself. And I realized you were sort of telling yourself that she's really gone and she's no longer yours..

Great piece. Just a few errors, but I enjoyed reading it :)

-X