Unfathomable sorrow.
For the pain and the anguish that we
borrow.
Great start. Really powerful.
This murky world will make you suffer.
Its onto you how you make yourself
tougher.
I agree, although this world seems so hopeless, we still have a choice. But change 'onto' to 'up to'
Not for the peace and content of this
materialistic planet,
But for the sake of your bruised soul.
To me, the message i read here is that we should not be hypocrites but live life true to yourself, not to impress others..
When soft voices die,
Do not let the banters take a toll onto you
and cry.
Wrapped in the drappery of warm tears.
This part really stands out. Very inspirational. We should not give up. But drappery should be drapery.
Dont let your bruised and battered soul to
take the better of you.
'To' is unnecessary, in my opinion.
Stomp the face of insecurities.
Break the chains of miseries.
Dont let your soft voices die.
Or else you will have to face the dark side
of your life.
The ending is also powerful. And the reusing of lines made it more powerful. I honestly think this should be in the 'inspirational poems' category 'cause it really inspired me not to give up. Yes, this tells of a hopeless and dying world but your words were inspiring.