Short and very powerful

Oh Yakori this poem is brilliant.....Full of depth and marks a deep message..love the word display and within a tanka form....very very nice~

Andrea and Dagmar, thanks alot for your comments, I'm really pleased. This is my first trial on Tanka. I'm glad it came out beautifully, :-) ..

You are very talented, I can see this in your writings.

Awesome poem, short, powerful.

x

Thanks for the assuring comments i appreciate. Remain blessed. Cheers! :-) ..

Wow... this poem is so powerful! I love that you expressed this in a tanka... so amazing.

Your words were so expressive and deep...

Amazing poem

Excellent :) words picked with perfect flow and thought. Deep and intense in volume , Very enjoyable

The sparkling sabre
reflects through the imperial
sea, baring my face
to wipe golden tears of wrath,
soaking dry shore of my sins.

When i read a tanka i am a firm believer that each line should have each own meaning to itself, the 2nd line doesnt get its full meaning till you read Sea.
This puts me off a little. (This is my own personal opinion, the poem is great by the way)
I realize that since this is your first attempt your going to quickly master the tanka over 2-3 more times of doing it. Easy. Why?
This one was near perfect.

I feel as though you have yet to evoke All of my feelings yet. You just have not sold me QUITE yet.
But your oh so close. I feel as though the ending could have been a little different, unsure with what.

Yes i am a critic. I always will be. I will usually try to butcher something before i praise it :3

This poem also is unique in the way that you protrayed the emotions. Amazing, i think. I love how you described things in it, the tears, wrath. Beautiful i believe. I can feel YOUR emotions. I just dont quite get caught with my own.

Again.

Nothings wrong with this poem 5/5

I just feel like you could Push to make it STRONGER.
...

Again No offense intended. Im a tough person to please sometimes.
(this poem really is good though, I love Tankas)

Thanks loads Nei, for the comments. I'm still learning so I'm sure the more I read and write, thus, perfecting the craft. I'm grateful. :) ..

Yakori, I like this a lot, the colors..the sounds.. the whole set.

Thanks LP, I'm grateful.. :-), God bless you.

You have a way with words..I will have to reread this a few times more to really grasp at what you were trying to convey...

'golden tears fo wrath', I really like how you worded that.

Well done, excellent poetic language

5/5 Ingrid

Thanks for your comment, I appreciate loads.. Bless you :-)..