by ami Feb 26, 2012
category :
Sadness, depression /
lost relationships
Sorry of being so possessive |
by BlueJay
First off the repetition of the piece ruins it for me. I know how you feel, for the most part here, but it feels more like a "To DO" list than a poem. The emotion is there, but its not very strong. The last two lines were a fantastic end, and I really liked those lines anyway. However no other part of the piece caught my attention in a positive way. There was no beginning, no story, no real reason for the piece. The word choice was extremely bland. The flow was on and off, the tone was dry and had no flavoring to it. Besides something is missing in this piece, what I dont know, but it just is. |