Moon

Jenni,*

Have you noticed your poetry is changing? Growing? I've found it interesting the format and style your poems are taking on as of late. You no longer have those longer lines going and I'm really enjoying where you've taken your work. The emotion is always there as usual (although I found this poem to have quite a different feel to it which I'll discuss in a minute) but I've noticed your descriptions have changed. You've always been descriptive but I feel like you are now looking beyond the surface and even deeper into the things you see which allow you to describe things differently (hopefully I'm making sense) maybe it's your journey into parenthood that has caused this? Whatever it is I like it!

Now onto this poem.

Really enjoyed your subtle alliteration, I've noticed it a lot in others poetry lately and I'm not sure if anyone is aware they do it. I know I write with subtle alliteration but I'm never conscience of it. You kept it consisted throughout with the 'S' sounds however you also spiced it up a bit by placing words together " moon magically" and so on.

My one little bit of advice to you on this poem is the break between stanzas. I became confused with where to pause and where to continue. What I mean is I feel a full stop of comma is necessary after "seek" if you weren't meaning for the lines to run together line "only they can seek affliction" I understand that's why you had the break between lines but it does cause the flow to rock when the reader is trying to work out where to pause, begin and end.

Great job on this poem, you did an excellent job with the tarot reading (I can't imagine it was easy) Nice imagery and nice use of technique.

-Mel