Comments : Lust

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Jenni,*

    Lust hey, what a demon that one is.

    Quick suggestions: third line "yearning" I feel like it'd read better with "most yearn for it" but that's probably just me.

    "but only to know that" I'd remove the "to" and have it read "but only know that"

    and in the second last line "wall" should read "will" unless of course Andy's body feels like a wall? :P

    I really like the contrast of love and lust, it's been done many times before but I like the fact that this poem has more of a positive outlook, it showed your love for someone and how lust doesn't effect you. You've made your decision and you're sticking to it.. I liked the "far be it for me to judge" line as it was so casual when I read it. It's like hey good for you if you're into going for the whole lust thing but it's not for you.

    This was a nice little short poem and you know I'm more of a fan of your free verse poetry because it has your attitude in it.

    -Mel