The Best Disease

Even when I don't want to,
I do,
You're like some unstoppable force,
Driving yourself deep inside of me,
Anchoring yourself to my soul,
Laying back in my mind,
Feet on my heart,
It has never been more comfortable.

Sometimes
It's like...parts of me,
I thought were missing,
Have been suddenly found,
Born in your eyes, smile, touch,
You are everything I am not,
But wish to be.

Thoughts of life never changing,
Everyone being the same,
Diminished...
Slowly becoming the optimist,
feelings finally seeming valid,
Unvenomous,
Uplifting.

The torment I never let myself forget,
Is slowly being forgotten,
Drifting away,
Replaced by the trust you fill me with,
The safety I find inside you,
A peace I have rarely known,
Or allowed myself to feel.

It no longer seems a struggle,
But a goal,
To become everything you deserve,
Everything I desire,
Everything I learned to hide...
Released,
Shame fading into the past.

You are the best disease I have ever had,
An infectious onslaught of galvanizing sensations,
In the end, making me stronger,
Immunizing me,
Vulnerable and invulnerable all at once,
I love you,
Even when it scares me.