Homeless Children is such a sad reality, something you portrayed here, I saw a young girl biting her fingers with bleeding lips, sitting in the doorway of a home while other girls and boys kicked a ball around laughing cheerfully,

You used simple words mixed with more complex ones, portraying awesome imagery with emotion and strength

Such a great piece with vulnerability and power

Loved it Jenni
xxxxx

I think it takes courage to write about subject such as this, many overlook those who are less fortune as they are. I say shame on them because we all have received whatever we have so there's no need for boasting.

Good poem..

Jenni this was a heart breaking poem full of reality and sadness. You penned it with perfection, making the reader stop and think about what the world holds for some..
Excellent

Oh Jenni this is so heartbreaking and raw. What I love is the fact that you have written about such a sad issue that has been happening to so many kids and I feel so sorry for them. The idea that they are homeless is terrifying and just so sad. I don't think I could ever imagine being in that situation. Each child would have a different reason for being on the streets but usually in most cases it's because their own home life is so much worse than living on the street... but I guess it's hard for us to see things the way they do. I do hope they get the help they need though x

The poem itself is great. I love the images and description. It had a strong opening but the last stanza had to be my favourite. It ended the poem really well and I think you chose the right words. Some children play in the street while others live there. Beautifully penned. It is such a shame that the kids have to resort to this though, living on the streets. The sad thing is that the children who are playing there are oblivious to the fact that some people call it their home, and they won't be able to understand why.

The image of having only one suitcase or less is so sad. Their only possession worth holding onto is themselves.

Jenni this is such a wonderful poem and it has really touched my heart.

I would love to see it win

x

I agree that this is a heartbreaking poem as well as an important topic that many overlooked.

As for this piece, I felt a few parts off but that could probably just be me and how I read it.

Other than that it's a great piece.

Such a sas subject .. but it is reality for some i love poems about true events and this is no diffrence i loved the wording the flow was flawless you discribed the situation perfectly and the ending was fantasic ...
nomination

5/5

The poem and the subject was very unique, i liked it a lot. In fact it is ((as others have stated)) something overlooked. I feel, unlike others, the way the poem was written didn't do the topic justice. It could have been more powerful if it was in a different format. ((This is just my personal opinion)). I think that because of this it almost turned me off slightly BUT it was still an amazing poem for the style that was written. For what it was it was penned very well and you should be quite happy with it.

Again I'm so sorry for thinking different from other people and I hope that it is just me, i did like and disliked the format and heres why.

At first you bombard me with imagery, i love it, im unsuspecting on what the actual poem will be about. So much emotion can be grasped from this, its amazing.

Then you continue it showing "Small hands" And at this point one can only assume its about a child. It truly is sad at this point, you can already tell... But it starts to feel choppy almost.

At this point it starts to feel repetitive (Not with the information, but the way it is composed) Its like Image image image image image, Which most people like, but i feel like it almost takes away from the type of poem. I feel like this type needs a bit of raw emotion....

The poem fro mthis point on it changes slightly and emotion is added into it. I feel like the moment you changed how you wrote it was to soon. But i do feel as if this was a good direction to go.

From the rest of the poem it just feels so filled with emotion and i understand it so clearly....

^ all of that is just me and for what it was 5/5...

Sorry im an odd person, so this is all just probably me :/ But i yeah.. Heh ill shut up on your poem now.

I truly did like it though!!!

What sucked me into this poem is not just the idea and your beautiful language, but how you put the scenes in very short sentences, yet very descriptive. I really like this approach through a style which somehow reflects the heartbreaking lives of children living on streets.

Very beautiful.

Omg thats really heartbreaking:(
I love this poem, as Abed said, u drawed a scene in short sentences, thats perfect:)
Great poem Jenni:)

Many children live unsheltered. Poverty is a world which I'd like to delete from the world.Fantastic poem Jenni. Good job, my friend.

Such an epic write on such a sad reality.

Your choice of words really paint the canvas with each ruggedly truth telling brush stroke.

Well done!

I have never been homeless yet this poem really pulled at my heart strings and I think its because you wrote it in a way that was very frank and honest.

"Some children play
on the street,
others live there. "

All of the poem is good but your ending hit me the hardest as it is so true.

Excellent

5/5

Writer 'paints' a vivid picture of the plight of street children throughout the poem. The title echoes throughout the poem through the use of strong adjectives(chapped/lost/devouring) to appeal to our senses . The children are 'unsheltered' and exposed to bad weather,pollution,abuse and disease. The poet intentionally uses short lines interrupted for emphasis to highlight the urgency/serious situation depicted in the poem.

The imagery of this poem is very clear, heart-breaking and realistic, writen with a beautiful yet sad use of words that only you could turn into a poem good job :)