Comments : Sweety..

  • 12 years ago

    by Hellon

    Your words passing through my ears
    giving me comfort, erasing my fears
    I miss you baby I say it with tears
    talk to me I beg you, please..

    Can you read over this again please...it's very short and...with short poems you really have to choose every word in order to make an impact. The first line doesn't really make much sense...words passed through you ears to me means you didn't take any notice of them so it contradicts your second line? The last line also contradicts what you are trying to portray...talk to me?..yet you say the words that pass through your ears give you comfort...very confusing?

  • 12 years ago

    by Wafaa

    Hmmmm yeah you're right it's confusing I wrote it at night and I was really sleepy but I'll try to fix and perhaps make it longer..thank you:)

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I really like this piece :-)

    Short and sweet and completely complete !!

    I have to say i think it should be kept as is, but obviously your the poetess lol it really made me smile and it is a very strong piece flowing with emotion ;-)

    Great job!

  • 12 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Nicely Done!!