or sign in with e-mail
by Lostlove1
Short sweet love jingle...The only input I can give on this one is to tighten up your syllables a bit I've never felt this way before It's all brand new to me My head is spinning,I can't breathe You're all I see. ^^^ Your count is 8,6,8 then 4 in the last line...but add 2 more syllables to the last line like this I've never felt this way before It's all brand new to me My head is spinning,I can't breathe You're all that I can see. Now its 8,6,8,6, and the last line flows with the rest of the lines better...especially important in your rhyming pieces :) Keep writing! Lostlove~