If I had any advice it would be to try and work on word choice. I feel like a stronger word here and there would do this poem wonders.

Don't get me wrong, though. I was pretty stunned by this piece. I don't normally bother to read poetry on this site from a lot of the younger girls (or guys, whatever) because from what I have read, it's very bland and the voice is dull. I can go through a hundred young person's poems, written by a hundred different young people, and feel like I've just read one poem a hundred times. The point of me saying this is that you are different. You have a clear voice, and I can tell you're very passionate about not only the subject that you write about, but you're passionate about writing as well. I respect and admire that.

You aren't perfect. You aren't the best, you aren't Shakespeare. Yet. But you might be, and I hope you keep writing and keep practicing because I think you have talent and a lot of potential.

Awesome 5/5 hands down the feeling you invoked was true as hells