Comments : SMS poem in happiness

  • 12 years ago

    by Mostafa

    I liked the simplicity but I guess these couple of lines needs modification
    "staying in a foreign country makes me an emigrant, wanting to stay there makes gives me happiness, inside me is no boarder, no lines, no barriers except one human respect."
    maybe you meant staying there gives me happiness cause this didn't fit in my mind

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I liked your wording, and the simple wording that seems genuine and tender..One suggestion''change
    Guess you does that to me?
    to
    Guess you do that to me?

    creative and original...good job

  • 12 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Thanks for the kind advice and comment

  • 12 years ago

    by Odin Ebbesen

    In one SMS, the is great

  • 12 years ago

    by Ole Carsten

    Thanks for the kind comment, yes I have send this as a SMS poem, and it was well recieved, smiling
    br
    Ole