Autumn love

by kimara4955   Mar 19, 2012


Watching the lovers leafs flow free,
i stare i wonder and awe,
yet i am saddened to see,
i will be the last to fall.

imagining gliding through a weightless breeze,
waiting for my oppertunity to cease.

lost in my lovers gaze,
a mythical autumns haze.
locked in his velvet embrace,
our steady rhythem, a sensual pace.

i may be alone this season,
but it is gods will, his reason.

for next year i will be the first leaf to flow free,
while the others gaze in wonder at me.

i still need to do some work on this as the stanzas aernt correct, but for my first draft, i would love to know what you think. thanks ;) x

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Marvellous

    A little more sifting of thoughts on this, will certainly make do. I mean, if you could summarize your points more closely than leave them explicit. In-as-much as you pay closer attention to your spellings too, the rhyme scheme, is spot-on! All the same, a true friend, heals wounds. Keep inking till you're done thinking. Continuity brings perfection.

    • 9 years ago

      by kimara4955

      Hi, thank you so much for your comment, I do really appreciate it, and was just wondering, what could I do to make it better. I'm always looking to improve, and your advise would be appreciated. thanks Kim.

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