She can't stand looking at me

Should I start this
by stating that I cried
last night? or should
I leave it unsaid, unknown
unheard, like most
of the emotions
I carry tucked behind
my breast.

a part of me,
must hate you,
as a matter of fact
a part of me does hate you,
as harsh as it sounds, and
all the courage it takes to
admit such things, just add
to the fact, that you've made
a coward out of me,
for hate is easy compared
to all the guts it takes to
even dare mentioning love

its the way you look
at me, from head to toes
with those vibrant cat like eyes,
that make me ponder..

Shouldn't I be
the one beholding those
green eyes?, shouldn't I be the
one compared to a feline,
It seems I have nine lives
anyway.

or do you have the
audacity to deny, that
you've almost given me
the gift of death, on more occasions
than my fingers can count

to you,
I stand like the nightmare
you are trying to wake from,
but to me you're the dream
in which I found all the strength
I'll ever need.

you ask me,
why I never seem to cry,
why I never seem to care
why I don't show any feeling
at all

I guess, no one ever told
you how loud silence
can truly speaks

you almost destroyed
my hand that one time,
you almost stopped
my lungs some other one

but you still dare to
wonder how come
it takes me so long to
get things done

you've compared me
to the hideous, you've
labeled me as the worst
you've mopped floors
with my self-esteem
and cleaned windows
with my pride

Regardless,
a part of me chose
to forgive all you've ever
done, although you've
said kindness is something
unknown to me

I pray one day,
you realize..that I'm
nothing but the picture
of all wrong you've ever done,
I must be, I've noticed you can't
stand staring at me for too long..

the tension that's
created when our eyes meet
give me a sinking feeling,
I won't lie...but its only
then when pupils scream
the truth that's so hard
to accept

we both know,
that YOU were the one that failed me..