Just cried out all of my depression then I come and read this? Ahhhhhhhh, I think I am going to cry out some more :'(

Just added another drop of sadness to my sadness ..
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I felt every word in it, so well done sweetie :)

Nana... beautiful.

I can feel the sadness in this poem it broke my heart reading it. I love the title. It is very unique

There's no such thing
as a dying song,
except when it comes
for my poetry...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I love the way you have opened the poem with this stanza. The way that you express that there's no such thing as a dying song except when it comes to your poetry. To me I feel you're trying to say that your poetry always expresses heartache and despair. This is quite sad itself.

As I lay over a mat floating
upon tears, stuck within
the scratches left
prominent on my tattered dress.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I love this image here. Of course the sadness expressed with your tears got to me but I loved the way you have given us an image of you in a certain time.

For I...saw in you a white flag
that turned to be nothing-less
than a hunter's face.
It was neither surrender,
nor the innocence I thought
it might be.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I so love this. I love the whole "wave the white flag" in a surrendering way. I think this is a brilliant way to describe what you were trying to convey.

I couldn't reach the sky with
a red velvet dress;
so I tore it apart.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I find that the image of a red velvet dress is very seductive and sexy. To say you could not reach the sky I'd imagine is a step in the relationship you are talking about.

Although I dreamed of ringing bells
and clouds of light that rained pure
wine for both of us, but I also
found a way to escape sleep-
I did manage to wake up.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
When you say that you woke up I don't think you meant a literal sleep. I think you mean you woke up to the situation, to how you felt. Maybe something inside you woke up about the relationship and what you wanted out of it and what you didn't.

And my eyes? The best parts
about me (as you used to say)
didn't carry me deep enough,
there, where I was seeking
to write you a poem,
and bake you some fresh bread.

Alas, I was left out, hungry...
craving for crumbles of love,
within four olive walls,
a black mat, then a piece of old bread,
that tastes as sad as reality

but most of all ?

I was left out, without...you
And I thank God, for that.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I love the metaphor used about the bread and crumbs. If there are crumbs left over it is saying that he ate the bread you gave him. The bread to me being a metaphor for your love. He fell in love with you too. He thought the relationship the same way as you did. Considering there were no crumbs though made me think that it was not the case. He was not the one for you. Maybe no connection or maybe he was an ass who knows. I think that's where the title came from. Sad Bread...

I love this poem hun. You always manage to make me think with your words. I try to look deeper into your writings as I know there's most of the time something hidden.

AWESOME POEM babe

x

...ahahahah lately, all your poems seem to have a food thing going on..

miss, have you been spending too much time in your kitchen?

I'll edit this, just the first thing I thought of when I finished reading.. :p

Lol haha yaki, don't you know love and life are both all about eating, puking, biting, and throwing up all over again...or simply starving ;p haha

thanks guys tho :)

"love and life are both all about eating, "

omg, lord..
I need a cleaner mind... u_u

LMAO, thanks for the laughter

Sorry x0x0

I'm gonna throw some detergent in my ears and shake my head see if it works... okay

Excuse me Nana, before I comment I have to giggle...@ Yaki, giggles, giggles,giggles... I love your comments, but not as much as I adore your poem... :-)

Nana-

You have an elegant way of expressing your sadness... For starters- the title is so creative, the title itself made me feel like tears within Bread, reminded me of times when I would cook to work out my sadness....
Then, the poem continues on with this metaphoric landscape..... It felt to me like expressions of dreams with this person and how at the end, you almost feel a sense of peace that this person is no longer around...but yet the sadness still remains... just how i felt within this very powerful poem... very nice Nana~

Haha.. Yaki, me caes bien.

I'll be back with my comment tomorrow.

,,,Evelasting said she likes me..in spanishh. hahahha

(before they warn you about the spanish without translating..)

Well, everlasting..like you too x0x0

Know that you are too big for any comment.. yeah, yeah I'm not kissing ass!

I couldn't reach the sky with
a red velvet dress;
so I tore it apart.

^ A33333333! I don't know what to say exactly.. or which stanza to dissect! Everything reads perfection....

and even the title: Sad Bread!

Directly, into my favorites!

First off, Nana
You dit it again!!!!

Just pure emotion, creatively enticed into such amazing poetry.

The title, was soooo original, it really drew me in...
and made me hungry for bread and happiness

There was something here to me that spoke off love being old and sad, and not worht swallowing,
thats the way I read this but I still love everything about it.

You are awesome girl
xxxxx

Wow, Nana! This poem is amazing! I loved it and was captivated from beginning to end.
I really liked the ending. I think it was unexpected... since you appear to be sad from losing a person close to you.

This was my favorite stanza:

"Alas, I was left out, hungry...
craving for crumbles of love,
within four olive walls,
a black mat, then a piece of old bread,
that tastes as sad as reality"

>> I love how you described yourself as hungry and craving crumbles of love, as though small doses of love would be enough to cure your sadness...

Your words are so powerful and filled with emotions.. that I could feel as a I read this poem.

I love it!! Great job hon <3

There's no such thing
as a dying song,
except when it comes
for my poetry...

---- The starting stanza along with the title are an omen that this poem will be sad. So even if the reader didn't pay attention to the category, they can predict it. I love the use of dying song, I'm not quiet sure why, but I feel like it brings more sadness into the piece and therefore makes it more powerful along with the following lines " except when it comes for my poetry."

As I lay over a mat floating
upon tears, stuck within
the scratches left
prominent on my tattered dress.

---- I like this stanza because in this one is where the author is going to start to tell the reader why the dying song happens in her poetry. The image of the tattered dress and the girl laying over a mat with tears is sad and makes the reader want to know why is the girl sad? what happened? why the sadness? and many ideas can jumped in my mind. I'm thinking that since the title is call "sad bread" that this piece is about poverty and then seeing the tattered dress made me believe that it was about that.

For I...saw in you a white flag
that turned to be nothing-less
than a hunter's face.
It was neither surrender,
nor the innocence I thought
it might be.

---- But wait this stanza took away my first thoughts, the author is not referring to what I first thought but to a person. The way I can understand this part is that the author thought that someone was someway but it turned out it wasn't the way she expected that someone to be. That's sad and relatable, many of us have been through that and it's painful.

I couldn't reach the sky with
a red velvet dress;
so I tore it apart.

---- I'm trying to think what's the relation between the dress and the sky, the only things that jumps in my mind is that that someone was the sky for her and when she realized that that sky wasn't all rainbows but thunders and storms or simply cloudy and hard to see through, she decided to tear the red velvet dress for frustration or sadness?.. Or could it be that the sky in fact is the term use for love in a relationship and since it wasn't working out she decided to tear the dress as a symbolism to end the relationship?

Although I dreamed of ringing bells
and clouds of light that rained pure
wine for both of us, but I also
found a way to escape sleep-
I did manage to wake up.

---- I feel like the author wanted the relationship to strive and be fruitful but she finally woke up meaning that she finally was able to see the true colors of that sky.

And my eyes? The best parts
about me (as you used to say)
didn't carry me deep enough,
there, where I was seeking
to write you a poem,
and bake you some fresh bread.

----This stanza shows love and how your eyes weren't able to see the reality.

Alas, I was left out, hungry...
craving for crumbles of love,
within four olive walls,
a black mat, then a piece of old bread,
that tastes as sad as reality

----I feel like that someone stood you up, and this stanza goes back to the second one where the author started to tell the story of why her poem can be dying song. The image of the girl is still imprinted in my mind just waiting for that someone to come, but all you were left with where cravings and the bread that he didn't take. So i'm guessing that the author baked the bread but the bread was untouched and so it became old. So I feel like the author was waiting to eat the whole bread with that someone but since it didn't show up, the bread wasn't eaten and so that's why she could only crave for crumbles of love since she couldn't eat the whole bread. And when she finally tasted the old bread that she wanted to eat with that someone, she realized the sad reality.

but most of all ?

I was left out, without...you
And I thank God, for that.

---- It's sad to realize the reality, but After thinking about it, there are things that are better if they happen.

very good.

P.S.. I did say that to Yaki, I didn't know there was a problem if we didn't translate. "Me caes bien" is sort of like I like you but it's use for friends. I just feel like clarifying that. lol.XD

Ah I shouldn't make promises, I can never keep them apparently. Ill be getting to this tomorrow! Sorry it's taken so long.

I love this so so much. Your poems are so divine to me because i tend to relate with them so much. I just like your choice of words; which create simple but amazing metaphors. The imagery is superb, i loved the stanza with 'the velvet dress' so much. More ideas to your muse dear, blessings to you. Tabarakallah!!! ;)

Excuse me to only stand here and leave a one-liner, but I'm not finding ANY words to say.