Rain Turned to Tears

by Jump from Life   Mar 21, 2012


The wind is making the rain
slap against the window pane.
It's being pelted down,
As my smile turns to a frown.

This rain is mimicking
my tears that are falling.
I'm left with deadly thoughtts
all because someone cared not.

Left alone to brace the hurt,
praying to god for a fresh start
That will never come.
This house is no longer my home.

Nobody ever truly cared,
only spoke to me when they were dared.
Well, I can't take this silence anymore,
So, I decide to walk out the door.

The rain is cold as ice.
But I don't care, it numbs the slice
that it cut deep into my arm
and the blood, it did swarm.

I walk out to the creek,
Knowing everyone thinks I'm a freak.
I guess the honestly did not see,
Just how much their words hurt me.

Now, its their fault I'm dead.
And in the paper my death will be read.
Tears will be cried,
But I don't care, because I've finally died.

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  • 12 years ago

    by Lofallenve

    "This rain is mimicking
    my tears that are falling.
    I'm left with deadly thoughtts
    all because someone cared not. "

    Had to be my favorite stanza. I like how you worded the rain as mimicking your tears. Perfect way to word it.
    Your imagery in this poem is awesome, and the story sad. :( I hope you don't still feel this way.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jon914

    Nice, but the emotions are more powerful then the words. I find this to be true in my past work too, but I find over time that unbounding myself from ryhming helped me along the path. Cheers

  • 12 years ago

    by Faithless Watermelon

    I'm not sure how I feel about this. I love dark poetry but the imagery and rhythm are sometimes there and sometimes not.

    "The rain is cold as ice.
    But I don't care, it numbs the slice
    that it cut deep into my arm
    and the blood, it did swarm. "

    This was my favorite stanza. It starts off strong and continues through, but the last line feels very forced and the rhyme isn't quite there.

    If anything, your voice is very clear here, and the direction as well. The story definitely flows, and I think your talent shows as well. Keep writing!

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Croat

    This poem touch me like a cold water drop...
    but very nice!!!
    I loved your lines!Well written!

    Steven

  • 12 years ago

    by La Reina De Corazones

    Ilike it grl! :) it has imagery and emotion not to mention a rythem! very nice u get a 5/5 from me! :)

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