Comments : Let the Flowers Blossom (Triolet)

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I have tried this form before and I have to admit that I failed badly, so I know how tough it is to actually manage to write it and then have a good outcome too. And I am happy to say that this is more than a good outcome.
    The repeating verses you chose emphasize and complete the poem and do not feel like a bother, the only thing I am not too satisfied with is the title. I mean I understand why you picked it, but it seems to lack something. I can't seem to come up with a suggestion either though.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Sara,
    I always find triolets hard to write for the repitition and flow needs to work in harmony with one another...
    You seemed to acomplish this and that in itself was a great addition, love poems again I find are cliche and this one I felt was somewhat plain but with the form, it gave a new lease of life to it

    As for the title, maybe you should try something shorter,
    a suggestion is
    "Infatuation Blossoms"
    or simply
    "Blossoming"

    but only suggestions...

    keep it up girl

    xxxx

  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Lol @ Jenni....Same here, a Triolet is so hard to do. I failed badly too. You have to find the perfect repeating sentences that will make perfect sense next to other sentences all throughout your poem! Its hard!

    This was beautifully done and I'm quite jealous that I cant conquer one of these, or that I'm a little bit chicken to sit down and try one and post it lol.

    Very well written!

  • 12 years ago

    by DarkLight

    Hw i wish those words were meant fr me.nyc art

  • 12 years ago

    by Moonlit Candles

    I thought this was a great Triolet. Your use of repititions worked really well here. I think they were great because for instance your part:

    We thought it was infatuation but our love proved true,
    our hearts united and our smiles widened by the day. Love blossomed between us, both had no clue,
    it was unexpected, momentous and blew us away.

    It worked well bringing out that you thought it was infatuation. Sometimes you don't know if it's love or infatuation. So of course your repitions came into play nicely with "both had no clue." All in all very nice work. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by White Orchid

    I loved this. Although I am not familiar with triolet poems I thought this had great flow and I liked how you described the feelings of the two people here and how they realized their feelings were deep, normally I am not much for repetitious poems but this one worked really well, I felt like the repitition here denoted more emphasis on the feeling you were trying to express therefore making the poem more powerful. Very nicely done!

  • 12 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    A good attempt at this form which can be so difficult to master.

    The combination of the words worked well and the poem held it's intergrity from the start to the end.

    Well done.

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Ive never heard of a triolet before....but then again i only wrote my first haiku yesterday lol, i love how this piece flows, very heart felt and honest, i also picked up on and love the part about infatuation and love being proved true, almost like you cant believe its love until it proven.....but just my interpretation of it though, great write :-)))