How dare you

I am sitting here in this hotel its 6:19 am..... I feel like my mind is in a spiral of chaos.... thoughts of him cross my mind... thoughts of you stay on my mind.... I am happy now... no wait now I'm sad...... OK I am happy again.... I am true bi polar..... my thoughts never stay.the same.... its strange..... what do I write....... I'm thinking about the last time I felt your touch how it was warm and comforting...... how could he do this to me he ruined my chance for happiness at least that's what I thought 23 years of sorrow abuse.... then you came along and took that.... made.me happy how dare you male me take that kind of risk.... uggh happiness was not for me.... how dare you protect me from evil and pervail me with good..... how dare u become superman..... how dare you how dare you how dare you..... how dare you hold me when I cry..... how dare you love my kids and be a strong father figure to them how dare you be my rock..... how dare you..... how dare I love you..... but dare I do....how dare you love me..... how dare you show me different emotions...