"The darkness has become a shroud
that I can never shrug off.
I dream of being up on a cloud
but it always gets torn down."
-> my favorite lines :)

It's a very sad and heart-felt piece. I loved reading it. The ending was beautiful.

"Bang"
Must mean your suicide..

5/5 :)

-X

You've done a very nice job with this. The feelings of hopelessness and despair are described to a tee.

A couple of suggestions: I prefer "not" rather than "never," because it helps to anchor the poem in the present.

Also, I think it would be best to lose the word, "bang," at the end. It's best to let the reader try to figure out what is going to happen, or what might happen, rather than to hit them over the head with it.

Overall, very nicely penned. :)

I have read this piece several times.... You have touched my heart deeply.... Darkness has a way of stripping a person down, to the brink of endless emotion.... the ending made my mouth drop.... powerful poem....

Thanks :) I'm glad you liked my poem, and I'll consider the revision.

The pain has become a blessing
because then I can feel.
Otherwise, I'm nothing,
Never feeling at all.

wow very powerful writing this part was my favorite :]]

5/5 :]

<3

Awwww darl I'm sorry u feel like this<3

Great poem
Loved it!
5/5

Your poem here is wonderful. The emotion behind it is very strong.

"The pain has become a blessing
because then I can feel.
Otherwise, I'm nothing,
Never feeling at all. "

I liked this stanza. Better to feel pain than nothing at all. I'd rather be sitting in pain, than sitting numb and void.

I loved this poem. As sad and dark as it is, it is one of my favorites. I can relate to this heavily. <3 5/5