Comments : Bricks

  • 12 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I believe building walls, be they brick or other material is a part of us, our protective instinct. Protect us from hurt, and the harsh things in the world. Doesn't seem to work since we let the walls down, events happen and back the walls go. Well done.

  • 12 years ago

    by Moonlit Candles

    I though this was a great poem. So much said in little of words. I thought the brick wall described here was a great metaphor. It goes to show that in todays society everyone is looking to fit in. And they will do anything to be someone. But then you describe your just like everyone else. A simple person. Which is great cause a simple person stays up longer. It's the ones who want greater riches and gains that like you brought out "They will serve their purpose then be torn down." And then of course the next one comes along. All in all a great poem. Nive write. :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    Sometimes life DOES feel like a brick wall, and its hard to "fit in" Also we feel we are up against a brick wall when we "Serve your purpose, then be torn down..."

    Well written and expessed Ben (as always) :) Love your writing and how relatable your poems are to myself!

    "Serve your purpose, then be torn down..."

  • 12 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    You're right hun, you are unique. And this poem shows that very well. Good job.

  • 12 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    Amazing piece indeed. I totally agree with Sylvia, this one should have won. So much has been said in such little words great write indeed.

    all the best and take care

  • 12 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Yes life is like a brick wall and we build and tone ourselves to fit into the society just to fit in but at the same time we are building a brick wall to protect ourselves from the nastiness of society..a very intense write that is written with just a few lines..loved it!

  • 12 years ago

    by White Orchid

    I liked how you described life to a brick wall. That metaphor is so brilliant because bricks try to fit in and bricklaying is a difficult job, each brick has to fit in perfectly or else it doesn't work, I think it compares nicely with life how people try to break you into their mold and others try to fit in and if you're unique you kinda don't fit, also after a while brick walls are torn down and replaced as all man made objects are, so what's the point in fitting in if it is just going to crumble. I loved the use of this illustration to drive home a point. And your flow and word choice was executed very well also. Great job. 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I'm a huge fan of short and powerful poems and here you go folks- This poem says so much within 9 lines- I had to highlight this wonderful gem!

    Title: The title is very powerful- when I read the title I thought to myself "this is going to be deep"- and I was not disappointed, and then when I saw it was a short poem, I was even more curious!

    The first line says so much- Life does have an intimidation and it does seem to be a brick wall.

    The second line is a wonderful metaphoric viewpoint: Describing the brick wall and comparing it to life- Wonderful line here and the use of "stubborn" is outstanding-

    The third and fourth line really made me think and allowed me to see the authors view- what a creative way of thinking here, it's like we as society have built the brick wall- awesome view point here and very thought provoking- It left me sitting here thinking....

    The fifth and sixth line left me speechless- Yes we all are unique, but yet we as a society still shun others who are unique-

    The ending two lines made my mouth drop- being worn down by weather and climate, only to be brought down in the end, left to crumble into dust.... It brings light to the saying "out with the old and in with the new" almost making me feel like as you get older, you have lost your strength per say.... WOW WOW WOW!

    Ending Comment: All I have to say is "AWESOME" the author created a powerful, inspirational, raw, in depth, smack it to ya poem, and I absolutely loved this explosive piece!!! Well done Kuro