Sitting here in the dark realizing how easy it would be for me to kill myself. Four days ago I lost my best friend because I made a move on her and didn't listen to what she said. I'm to the point were I don't care if I live or die. I just don't want to feel anything anymore. I have been through a lot in the past 22 years of my life and I feel like breaking down and crying. I don't trust myself anymore. I'm to the point were I can't eat or sleep. Anger and depression have been building up for years the only good thing I had I just lost.I can't focus on anything anymore. Growing up my father dressed like a woman and it has put me in a weird place not knowing how my friends would respond to it so I just hide it from them. I feel like I have nothing here for me. Here I am talking about how bad I have it and yet some people will tell you that they have it worse. For two years I sat and listened to your problems and now I am wondering why I could not comprehend the words you said that day. In the past 22 years I have attempted to kill myself a total of three times and each time I realized that it was not worth going through with it. So many things left unsaid.
