The Sun goes Down with my Strings

by Sunshine   Apr 9, 2012


The sun goes down
with my strings,
a glimpse of hope
perhaps the last one
for today, drops
from my eye; I-
give in to the
lonesome in my tunes,
the soreness in its beat
and the tiresome
spinning at the tip
of my fingers.

Lost in the mute
clarity of my notes,
my music, a twin of me,
seldom knows where
it's going, rarely finds
the story behind,
wordlessly fighting
to reflect its inner shape.

Constantly in a different
tongue, for the other...someone.
Not a soul, understands
the poignant plan of a symphony,
nor what it's trying to declare,
not even its inventor...

And I? I want to
write some music,
but now I'm too tired,
too tired to try understand..
and value myself.

by: Rania Moallem

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  • 12 years ago

    by Chelsey

    A glimpse of hope
    perhaps the last one
    for today, drops
    from my eye

    ^^ That was seriously a beautiful way of describing a tear. I fell in love with those lines! <3

    I love the analogy here!!

    Not a soul, understands
    the poignant plan of a symphony,
    nor what it's trying to declare,
    not even its inventor...

    ^^ I mean that was awesome!...Everyone just listens to the beauty of the music, no one understands or values the story behind it or the story behind the inventor of it. Comparing that to yourself was brilliant!

    Loved this piece. I think you took a sad topic and turned it into beauty!

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    This piece you have here speaks to my very core.
    At first, before reading, I wasn't sure what you meant with 'strings', but then it became obvious.. strings of your violin? your guitar? your harp? or is it your heart.... ?

    It's great how you left that open to guessing. Maybe your heart here is the twin of the violin; I'd go with that. You know... when violins play, senses erupt!

    I was very fond of your saying: 'music is my twin' .. that wowed me. It really clears the bond between you two. If music cries, you cry. If she breathes, you breathe along. This emphasizes on the intimacy!

    And almost all of your pieces has the SUN in there.. the LIGHT.. everything related to the sun. So alluring :)

    You go Nana.
    And yes... the end was indescribable. I adore the 'growing-weary-tone' always.. but you have a special way in using that.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    Nana!

    Such a sad poem but there's this melodic tone throughout the stanzas, as if the song itself was heartbreaking. When you mention strings in the first stanza I instantly thought of an acoustic guitar playing the music of life.

    I love the flow of this poem, it is so well written and that saddened tone is felt all through the words. Sometimes life plays us music but the music itself is not always of a happy tune.

    There have been times where I've listened to music in my head and most of the times actually, it's a slow song playing that breaks my heart. Rarely is it a love song or a fast dance beating song. If I am in a depressed mood I will listen to sad music. I think it helps us get our emotions out.

    I have to say that the last stanza tore my heart! The idea that you feel you are not worthy for music, as if to say that you do not value yourself enough to create such a beautiful symphony. This really broke me. For you are worth ever tune and more!!!

    Lovely poem hun but really something that broke my heart.

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Girl of Conviction

    This is really good :]
    your such a talented writer :]

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Truly enjoyed reading this

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