Comments : Sun Tree

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    Well, The title I must say is so youuu!!

    I really don't have many words to describe this...
    Warm,
    Passionate,
    strong,
    deep,
    But nothing really describes what I wanto it to.

    It was weary yet full of meaning and hope, the ending was so inspirational, it moved me inside, I felt really warm yet chilled with this

    Love this piece,

    hugs
    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Thank you for the flowers
    you sowed in my spring backyard,
    they are all lifeless by now.
    It's winter at my end.

    ^ Showing gratitude, so ironically dramatic! Maybe you're not just mocking him, but you are laughing/crying at yourself and your luck?

    Black like your spirit,
    hard like your heart,
    but unlike you, with all
    their tough look
    and stiff texture...
    still cleave to a very
    beautiful aroma.

    ^ Those descriptions of the flowers are really dense, they give volume to the love since they are sowed by him. I'm totally fond of the comparisons and the contrasts. The final line is quite.. how do I say it? unexpected since I know you aren't speaking about white love but rather black love. But THEN, my expectations are shattered with your subtle sense of humor LMAO:

    Alas, easy to
    disregard!

    ^ okay, that cracked me up. What a show you have put before for him, and what a way to steal his spotlights right away. Brilliant!

    I planted you a ripened sun tree,
    that survives the four seasons
    after few thousand decades,
    right at the heart of your window .

    ^ Definitely my favorite stanza.
    SUN TREE? that is surely ... original! And it's great how you said it lives through all seasons to show him that you (with what you give) are eternal for him, unlike him.

    And also: Cold Bed.. that read so beautifully.

    With respect to the ending: so melodic!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

    I love love love this.

  • 12 years ago

    by Lioness

    Nana, I loved this poem.

    I loved the fact that it was not just about the flowers and trees themselves but it went much deeper than that. The poem was laced with beautiful images and strong metaphors. I am wondering whom it is you spoke of when you wrote this poem.

    I am wondering in the first stanza - what I like is the fact that I have question if it was winter that caused the flowers to become lifeless or is it because this person planted them himself?

    Black like your spirit, hard like your heart. This person must be cold themselves - when I think of someone hard I think of someone that's probably cold as well (that could be why the flowers died too) I love how you have mentioned that the aroma is lovely compared to him.

    I keep thinking that you have planted this lovely ripened sun tree not to remember him by but for him to remember you (as you have planted it right at the heart of his window)

    I think it is a reminder that you have moved on and that you are now happy in life because the tree will survive all seasons. You have a much lighter and joyful heart as well so I guess that's a contributing factor to its survival!

    Loved this poem hun. I love the images they were superb!!!

    Awesome poem!!!

    x

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    NOMINATION !!!
    Dear God nana, this was epic.

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    Nana, is it your 'handicraft' to write heartbreaking poetry?

    It's just...your voice always sounds lightly hapless in every metaphor. I just find you between the words, so breathless and disappointed and that makes me ache so damn much. I so love all of the similes you put in here. I don't know if you meant to refer to 'cypress' but in your original way. Y'know, the 'sunny' way, haha. I adore how you said your love won't change its colors throughout the four seasons, but his own is now like Autumn, so pale and lifeless. I just find it so interesting like you can never imagine.

    I love so many things, starting from the wording: 'cleave to a very beautiful aroma' and 'the heart of your window' till your sarcastic tone 'alas, easy to disregard!' I just love it all. Felt it and could share you the feelings. I too love the 'light being crawling' image, so poetic and so Raniatic!

    I don't know if I can nominate this one this week, anymore, as it is Saturday, right? But I'm sure if nominated, it will win, and if not, it will stay for the next week, just for me to give a vote! XD Please keep writing, my Sun, you are brilliant. <3

  • 12 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    Very cool piece ms sunshine I felt so many emotions reading this I think I need a drink, it's a beautiful piece of work thanks for sharing x

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I truly feel drawn to this metaphoric piece of art- I call it art, because its visionary word display is so captivating that I can picture every word within this poem- Beautiful and heart breaking poem.

    The title: What a bright and elegant title, it displays the strength of a woman, struggling to get over heartbreak along with nature tones, and describes the poem in great depth, just in the title alone...beautiful!

    First stanza: Starting this poem off with a powerful force, the author grabs me from the start- Thanking the one who hurt her, with grace. Starting the metaphor off with a bang! When flowers are beautiful in a garden,(such as love) it's all good at the beginning, and when sadness erupts, in the end they die- Perfect start to this piece.

    Second Stanza: Even dead flowers have a sent and comparing the person who hurt the woman is just a creative and explosive, descriptive stanza... awesome word display!
    "Alas, easy to
    disregard!" <-------- I love this .... A great explanation with a painful tone... when the heart is broken, it truly is a great thing to be able to let go or try to... to be able to overcome the hurt and pain...a lot is said within just four words!!

    Third stanza: I love this stanza the most and to me it's a powerful beginning to the heart of the poem... Sun trees last all four seasons... unlike flowers that eventually die... stating to the won who has broken her heart... you will always remember me....what a powerful stanza with such strength!

    "when on earth, light crawls
    at the edges of your
    cold bed." <---- WOW..... these twelve words tell the reader "I will not be forgotten, the coldness of your heart will always know my warmth" that is how I felt and I love this part of the poem.... I can't express enough the explosive emotions that are display within these words....
    Fourth stanza: I love the power to overcome pain and heartbreak... this stanza conveys that and so much more....love this stanza!!
    Ending stanza: Even in winter, she still will shine....sighs.... I'm telling you... this ending makes your heart feel...and I want to applaud the writer!! Just an explosive ending, full of strength and positive energy. Sun trees are positive and strong...

    Final comment: This poem deserves to be highlighted! The metaphoric tones throughout were priceless...the nature feel is so positive and again I could vision that precious sun tree sitting outside the "dead flowers" window! I can't express enough how much this poem touches me and very well written....such a talented author and it deserves to grace the front page... Well done Ms. SunShine