You say I'm perfect, I cringe.. It's not my instinct to beleive this, but it sounds so sweet. An your the next skip of my heart beat, your the reason I am confused an can't sleep. To me this has become a routine a prize that can't be won, a cherished moment a memory to last us so long. It hurts but it feels like something more than the pain of being numb. So you hold me down you show me now rights an when I'm wrong. It's crowded in here its loud an hard to bare as this noise hurts my ears. My dreams are haunting I'm wakin up soaked with tears I'm scared an tormented by the fear, panting breaths an drenched with sweat an I thank god your near. I call your name you grasp me close against your chest as I'm shaking scared. I cry an moan still not fully aware. You hush me down quiet you whisper the sound while rubbing me softly then touching with lightness across my back an stroke my hair. I wanna die right then I want it to be over I don't want to live I don't wish to feel again I want this to end, At this moment I want this last view to be my final as my sight descends. An though I shared this before I know you don't really understand. How truly much I mean it when I say things like that. Don't wish to share but wish you could know I'm serious when say these things but please don't think it's cause I don't care. For I do but inside I'm hurting so badly an no one understands how truly much the strength of this depression weighs upon me
